


I Shall Not Be Left To Wander

by felassans



Series: Annals of The Warden [1]
Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Learning how to move on, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-04-13 15:55:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14115783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felassans/pseuds/felassans
Summary: As the sole survivor of the massacre at Highever, Elissa Cousland now finds herself thrust into a nightmare that she was never prepared to handle. All that matters to her now is that she find Fergus; expose Howe’s treachery to the world;  and avenge her family…But before she can do anything a further complication arises, The Wardens adamantly maintain that the Darkspawn threat still looms over Ferelden, and to ignore this would be catastrophic. Therefore, alongside her new found friends and a certain fellow Warden that she finds herself inexplicably drawn to, Elissa is left with a choice:Live up to her family’s proud mantle? Or put aside responsibility to pursue revenge against those that took everything away?





	1. Here The Mighty House Cousland Fell: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Couslands have overseen the lands of Highever for countless generations, ruling with a reputation for acting as defenders of justice; exercising restraint; and leading their people by example. However, with the rumours that the unusually large Darkspawn horde gathering unchecked in the South are the beginnings of another Blight, are the noble family blind to the dangers that linger closer to home?

To say that it had been a long morning would be the world’s biggest understatement.

Between overseeing everyone at the castle frantically making preparations for the guests that they were about to host; readying their men for the arduous march south; and being chased around and hassled by her own Mother regarding potential marriage arrangements… Elissa was exhausted. It wasn’t that level of physical tiredness that she was accustomed to after sparring practice, but her head hurt from the stress and her back ached with the weight of all this newfound responsibility. If only that damned missive from the King had never arrived... She thoughtlessly wondered if perhaps things could have continued exactly as they were, even though deep down she knew that eventually life at Highever would have to change- for better or for worse.

She could taste the salt from The Waking Sea in the air carried by a gentle breeze that swept through her long brunette hair, it felt unseasonably cool against her pale skin causing her to shiver slightly as she picked up one of the greying pebbles that littered the beach where she sat, tossing it as far as she could towards the water, watching as her trusty Mabari splashed through the shallows where the sea endlessly lapped against the cheerless coast. Elissa had been ever so relieved that Nan had practically begged her to take the dog off their hands for a few hours, using it as an excuse to duck out and take a break- this moment would be the last chance that she would get all to herself for the foreseeable future and was determined that she would enjoy it while it lasted, no matter how fleeting it may be.

Elissa closed her tired blue eyes as she reclined across the cold stones, using her cloak to support her weary head as she recounted her father’s solemn words: _“While your brother and I are both away, I’m leaving you in charge of the castle. Only a token force is remaining here and you must keep peace in the region.”_

Although it came as no surprise to the local Arls and Banns when Bryce Cousland publicly announced that his youngest daughter would be managing the Teyrnir in his absence, she had half expected that her father would either leave her brother Fergus behind or that her mother Eleanor would act on his behalf. In truth, while she was honoured that her father clearly trusted her enough to represent their house, Elissa didn’t necessarily feel prepared to accept that role just yet. She had only turned 17 two months prior and was deeply concerned that her youth and inexperience would impede her ability to rule, and yet not a single complaint was issued at the announcement. In fact, many of the local lords had resoundingly applauded the decision. She wondered if it was due to the exceptional loyalty that the local nobility displayed towards Bryce Cousland, or perhaps the rumours regarding Fergus being overlooked in succession weren’t just idle rumours after all. Either way, there was little she could do to stop the wheels in motion now, this was the way in which events had unfolded and she had to accept it- no matter how much she regretted the suggestion that she was better suited to the role than Fergus would ever be.

“Barkley! Leave it alone,” a familiar voice called out, Elissa sat up to see Ser Gilmore brushing his ginger hair out of his eyes as he hurriedly jogged towards her Mabari that he had caught investigating a beached Jellyfish. “Your master looks away for five minutes and you’re getting yourself into all kinds of trouble!” He groaned as he tugged the curious pup away.

“Oops…” Elissa nervously laughed as she got to her feet and stepped towards them.

“Look at the state of him!,” Ser Gilmore winced as Barkley violently shook in his general direction, tossing off the mass of water and dirt he had accumulated during their outing. “Nan is going to kill you when you bring him back...”

“Maker! I’ve been waiting for years for someone to put me out of my misery, who knew it would be so easy!” she joyfully exclaimed but Ser Gilmore didn’t seem to be in the mood for jests, instead choosing to remain professional.

“My Lady, Arl Howe and his men are due to arrive at any moment, your father has requested your presence...” The snap back to formality was a little awkward to endure, Ser Gilmore was usually a lot more relaxed around her, but ever since the news that Arl Howe would be bringing his forces with him to Highever there had been a lot of pressure on the guards to act accordingly.

“I guess my break is over then…” Elissa lamented.

“Unfortunately so My Lady. Your mother also requested that after you have greeted the Arl, I bring you to meet Lady Landra and her son-”

“I guess I have no choice but to flee and join an Orlesian circus then.” She jokingly interrupted, horrified that her mother was still trying to set her up with a husband after the countless times that she had flat out refused to entertain the idea. She was still only 17, but ever since Fergus’s son Oren was born her mother had been desperate to have more grandchildren running around the castle.

“I saw him briefly before I left and he seemed pleasant enough.”

“You are off the guest list. No free tickets for you. Banned for eternity.” Elissa teased as she wrapped her cloak around her shoulders and began to gather her belongings.

“Regardless of that, your mother made it quite clear that you were to meet him even if I had to drag you kicking and screaming.” He furrowed his brow, clearly not amused at being put in the middle of the situation.

_“I alreadee told you, I am joining ze circus Ser Gilmore, you will ave to inform my Mother that it iz quite impossible for me to attend.”_ She replied in a forced Orlesian accent, within seconds she could already tell from the look on his face that the joke had fallen _very_ flat, normally she would at least get a pity chuckle or a disapproving groan from the young knight, but this time he seemed like he couldn’t have cared less.

“My Lady we have to go.” He responded nonchalantly as he turned to head back towards the castle.

“You’re no fun Gilmore.”

“I know.”

“When my Father leaves you will be required by law to laugh at all my bad jokes.” She let out a dry chuckle as she caught up to him with Barkley trotting happily at her side, prompting Ser Gilmore to roll his eyes so far back into his head that they risked getting stuck there.

“Never going to happen My Lady. The day that you find someone that actually enjoys your jokes I will eat my shield.” He retorted. That was more like it, that was the Ser Gilmore that Elissa knew and loved.

“Do you promise?”

“Cross my heart, hope to die.”

______________

The main hall had been dressed up in all it’s finery for the Arl’s visit. With the cobwebs dusted away, the aging green carpet that once lay across the pale stone floor had been replaced with a beautiful blue Orlesian silk carpet, the grand fireplace roared to life as the warmth from the burning wood spread through the large room, and the heraldries of both the Cousland Laurel Wreath and Highever Spears proudly hung high and mighty from the rafters. Upon his arrival at the castle, Bryce insisted that his dear friend Rendon Howe join him in the hall for a quick drink, hoping that the absence of his youngest would go unnoticed and unmentioned.

“I trust, then, that your troops will be here shortly?” Bryce looked up at Howe as he took a sip of the fine wine that they had been gifted from Oriana’s parents when she married Fergus.

“I expect that they will start arriving tonight, and we can march tomorrow,” Howe nodded as he placed his goblet down on the bench beside himself. “I apologise for the delay, my lord. This is entirely my fault.” He had informed the Teryn that the bulk of his forces were delayed due to poor weather, and offered a sincere enough apology that Bryce was sure that now Howe definitely wouldn’t mention Elissa’s absence from the welcoming party.

“No, no,” Bryce shook his head, “The appearance of the darkspawn in the south has us all scrambling doesn’t it? I only received the call from the King a few days ago myself.” He took another sip and swallowed, “ I’ll send my eldest off with my men. You and I will ride tomorrow just like the old days!” He grinned, recalling the days where they had fought together during the occupation.

“True. Though we both had less grey in our hair then” Howe sighed, they were both old men now, and he grew weary just thinking about how much time had passed since. “And we fought Orlesians. Not… monsters.”

“At least the smell will be the same!” Bryce raised an eyebrow as a cheeky smile crept across his face, Howe let out a low chuckle, the Teyrn finished his drink, and handed his and Howe’s goblets to one of the Elven servants to be refilled.

She was late. Perhaps fashionably so? No, Definitely not. Elissa doubted that her parents would see it that way, and was not looking forward to the lecture she would get the moment that Howe was out of earshot. Therefore, after Barkley was handed off to the kennel master for a good hosing-down, she and Ser Gilmore sprinted across the courtyard to the large oak doors of the main hall and quietly slipped inside. She could see that her father and Howe were already conversing over drinks, and wasn’t keen to interrupt, but Ser Gilmore nudged her forwards regardless.

“You’ll just get in more trouble if you wait.” He whispered. Damn. She hated when he was right. Elissa sighed deeply as she stepped forwards so that she was now visible to everyone in the room, her father caught her gaze almost immediately.

“I’m sorry pup, I didn't see you there!” He warmly extended his arm to bring attention to her as she approached. “Howe, you remember my daughter Elissa?”

“I see she’s become a lovely young woman. Pleased to see you again, my dear.” He smiled as he held out his hand to shake, Elissa gladly accepted it without hesitation.

“Sorry for my lateness. It’s wonderful to see you again too Arl Howe, although I wish it were under better circumstances.”  Although her family had been close friends with the Howe’s for many years it was still important that appearances were kept up. Any perceived rudeness would not only reflect poorly on her, but on her family as well.

“At any rate pup I summoned you for a reason,” Bryce interjected, “There’s also someone you must meet. Please… Show Duncan in.” He turned back to the Elven servant, who bowed and headed out of the hall momentarily, returning with another unknown man.

Elissa had never seen him around Highever before, so he must have been another guest that she had not been informed of. She took a moment to glance at his appearance, noting his height and muscular frame- A soldier of some kind? No… he seemed far too old for that. Small patches of grey had began to spread throughout his thick beard and hair. Duncan bowed to the elf that had escorted him into the hall, thanking them for their assistance. She was pleasantly surprised at how noble he was being, most of the guests that came to Highever had a tendency to treat their dogs better than the elves- calling them slurs as they poured their wine. He turned and began to head in their direction, now that he was facing them, Elissa could see the Griffon embellished across his chestplate. A Grey Warden.

“It is an honour to be a guest within your hall, Teyrn Cousland.” Duncan politely bowed as he greeted them all.

“Your lordship, you didn’t mention that a Grey Warden would be present.” Howe sat up, surprised at the sudden arrival of one of the other guests.

“Duncan arrived just recently, unannounced.” Bryce’s friendly demeanor began to drop for a more serious tone. “Is there a problem?”

“Of course not.” Howe shook his head and nonchalantly took a swig of his wine, Bryce relaxed a little- Howe’s reaction having caught him off guard.

“Without their warning of the darkspawn rising now, half the nation could have been overrun before we’d had a chance to react. Duncan is looking for recruits before joining his fellow wardens in the south.”

“If I might be so bold, I would suggest that your daughter is an excellent candidate.” Duncan nodded his head towards Elissa, leaving her quite surprised. Although he surely meant it as a compliment, she was not entirely certain she should take it as intended.

“Honour though that might be, this is my daughter we’re talking about.” Bryce moved to cover her slightly, wary of what Duncan might say next. Elissa stepped forward to face him, not wanting to hide behind her father.

“I’m sorry Ser Duncan, I have no interest in joining the wardens… My place is here at Highever.” she affirmed.

“I’ve not so many children that I’ll gladly see them all off to battle.” He tapped her on the shoulder, almost as if to tell her that he was pleased that she had taken a stand against the idea. “Unless you intend to invoke the right of conscription?...” He challenged.

“Have no fear. While we need as many good recruits as we can find, I’ve no intention of forcing the issue.” Elissa breathed a small sigh of relief, glad that the Warden had relented.

“Surely there are wardens from other countries that would happily help with countering the darkspawn?” She asked, hoping to change the subject.

“The wardens from Orlais have offered their assistance, but they will not arrive as quickly as we had hoped I’m afraid.” He responded.

“Is the threat that dire?”

“Indeed. We spotted a horde of perhaps ten thousand or more assembling in the Korcari Wilds not three weeks ago.” His face grew darker for a moment, Elissa hadn’t realised the magnitude of the problem and felt foolish for asking.  “Luckily, King Cailan took us at our word and marshaled Ferelden’s forces quickly. The first battles have gone easily, but I fear that the worst is yet to come.”

“Indeed. Are the Grey Wardens sure that this is a blight and not simply some large darkspawn raid?” Howe interrupted. If ten thousand darkspawn was just a raid, she shuddered to think how many would come up to the surface in the event of a _real_ blight.

“No Archdemon has been sighted yet, My Lord. But with my entire soul I believe this is a blight.” Duncan replied with an absolute certainty in his voice, it was unsurprising that King Cailan had believed him. Howe, However, was still rather unconvinced.

“I wish we shared your faith. I suppose we shall see for ourselves when we reach the King’s camp.” He took another swig of his wine, at this point it seemed as if he held some kind of hostility towards the Warden.

“You know the King, Ser Duncan?” Elissa asked.

“Not well. King Cailan is an eager young man who had shown great wisdom in responding to the Darkspawn threat”

“I hear he’s a bit enraptured with the Grey Warden legend, and that is why he caters to your order” There was bitterness in Howe’s voice now, Bryce raised an eyebrow but remained silent, instead watching his daughter’s actions in this situation.

“You don’t seem to think very much of the King, Lord Howe.” She thought aloud, immediately regretting it as she said it. Her family were ardant royalists, and sign that she may not support the King as her father does could spark controversy within their Teyrnir. She was just glad that there were few around to hear her.

“I think of him as much as he thinks at all.” He snorted as he took another gulp of his wine.

“That’s enough Howe!” Bryce interrupted now, taking the goblet out of his friend’s hand. Howe had always been too free with his opinions when he drank. “You speak of our King.”

“The girl did ask, your Lordship,” He deflected the responsibility of his words onto Elissa, “As per the latitude you allow. I merely offered my opinion.”

“I think that’s enough conversation for now…” Bryce ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. “Pup, can you ensure that Duncan’s requests are seen to while I’m gone?”

“I… I’m sorry Father, Lord Howe, I shouldn’t have mentioned anything.” Elissa offered an apology, Howe nodded his head in acknowledgement but the Teyrn didn’t seem to be in the mood to accept yet. “And of course! I will do anything I can to assist Ser Duncan.”

“In the meantime, find Fergus and tell him to lead the troops to Ostagar ahead of me.” He commanded, Elissa was certain that she had embarrassed him in some way and decided not to argue or ask if Ser Gilmore could do it instead. She bowed to the men, bid them good day, turned, and walked out of the main hall to do as she was asked.

“Well-fucking-done me.” She muttered sardonically under her breath as she made her way down the corridor towards the Atrium, stopping for a minute to hide in an empty room after she narrowly avoided bumping into her Mother as she escorted her friend Lady Landra to the guest rooms- she wasn’t in the mood to stand there while the pair practically berated her for not being married and having birthed a bunch of squealing children yet. “Can’t wait to be disinherited forever!”

Today she had been late to greet an esteemed guest and put her foot in her mouth during said meeting. Elissa groaned as she briefly leant against the wall, if she was going to represent the Cousland family during her Father’s absence she had to step up and mature, or she risked making an absolute tit of herself infront of not just the lords and ladies of Highever, but of the rest of Ferelden too. Thedas was not inclined to wait patiently for Elissa to take up the Cousland mantle, it didn’t matter if she was ready or not, it had to be now, she had to succeed.

Once Elissa was entirely certain that her Mother would no longer be lurking around outside, she stepped out of the empty room and continued onwards to Fergus’s quarters. Fergus and Elissa had always been at odds with one another when they were children, constantly competing with one another which would often devolve into fist fights instigated by the sore loser, ending when their parents managed to pry them apart and lecture them on how _‘unchivalrous’_ it was to fight a girl or how _‘unladylike’_ it was to fight at all, which only spurred them to fight each other more. Things changed when they were teenagers though, Fergus accompanied Father on business in Antiva and when they came back he brought his new wife with him. He was only 18.

He had met Oriana, had a whirlwind summer romance and then they eloped in Rialto and had been together ever since. Although both their parents were not happy with it. Fergus had been intended to marry Howe’s daughter Delilah when she came of age, and reneging on that engagement had been an embarrassment. Howe forgave the Couslands due to their long standing friendship, but the damage had been done, so Bryce decided not to arrange a marriage for Elissa just in case it happened again or if he was refused. That’s when the rumours about Fergus not inheriting Highever began. Those spreading idle gossip assumed that Bryce was keeping his daughter close, instead of marrying her off to another house, because he intended her to become his heir and continue the Cousland line. It was difficult for the couple at first... The rumours put a strain on Fergus and their Father’s relationship, Oriana was homesick, Ferelden wasn’t what she had expected. Yet, she made every effort to impress the Couslands, becoming the perfect wife, she even took elocution lessons to speak _‘more Ferelden’_. Fergus mellowed out and stopped being on the defensive, eventually apologising to his parents and asking them if they could put it in the past and start over again. They accepted, but it was never really enough for Bryce and Eleanor, they were never outright in their dislike for her, but it was hard for them to mask their disappointment. Things began to improve once Oren was born though, Oriana struggled initially so Eleanor stepped in to help her during the early days, they bonded over Oren and now they maintained an amicable relationship.

“Is there really going to be a war papa? Will you bring me back a sward?” Oren asked eagerly as he fidgeted in excitement.

“That’s ‘sword’ Oren. and I’ll get you the mightiest one I can find, I promise.” He ruffled his son’s mess of brown hair. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“I wish victory was indeed so certain. My heart is... disquiet.” Oriana placed her hands on Oren’s shoulders as if to settle him.

“Don’t frighten the boy love, I speak the truth.” Fergus grinned, trying to set his family at ease, but he knew it wasn’t the truth. Nothing was certain in a battle, he may never see them again… but it did no good to dwell on that fact. He would come home. One way or another…

Elissa tapped the door with her knuckle as she stepped into their room, she hadn’t been in here since Oren was born, it felt awkward to intrude on their farewells… Fergus turned to greet her, Oriana bowed her head, Oren all but leapt across the room to latch onto his Aunt. Elissa lifted him into the air and twirled him around, remarking how heavy he had gotten since the last time she picked him up.

“And here’s my little sister to see me off. Now dry your eyes love and wish me well.” Fergus ran his finger across Oriana’s cheek and leant in for a kiss, Elissa wouldn’t miss the opportunity to drag him for it.

“Maker let me know when you two are finished... I have to go throw up” She audibly gagged and pulled faces of varying levels of disgust, prompting Oren to giggle along with her.

“Ha! When there’s a man in your life you’ll understand!” He poked back at her, wrapping his arms around his wife.

“No thank you I get enough of that from Mother.” Elissa rolled her eyes.

“She wants you to be happy Lissa.” He chided her.

“She wants more grandchildren,” She corrected. “Why don’t you two get busy and save me the hassle? You already have a head start!”

“Well how about it love? What about a quick turn in the straw before I leave?” He wiggled his eyebrows and then whispered something inaudible into her ear- causing her to turn almost crimson in colour.

“Fergus! Language!” She scolded him, wriggling out from his grasp whilst he almost fell onto the bed with laughter.

“Honestly I would rather go and fight the darkspawn than have to sit through another one of Mother’s cunning attempts at matchmaking.” Elissa diverted the conversation back to a more _child-friendly_ zone.

“I wish you could come! It’ll be tiring killing all those darkspawn myself.” He tapped the sword on his hip.

“Surely your father would not place both his heirs in danger.” Oriana spoke.

“Mother and Father have been fighting about it for days,” Fergus noted, then turned to his sister. “I think she expected that he would take you instead of me.”

“I thought that he would leave us both behind to be honest, you’re his oldest son and I’m still too young.” She confessed.

“I may be his oldest son, but I don’t think that he considers me his heir.” He chewed his lip, regretting that he had brought it up.

“Fergus… I…” Elissa started.

“No it’s fine.” He shook his hand at her, and put a smile on his face. She could see right through it, but wouldn’t argue with him on it now. Not in front of Oren. “And besides, you’re never too young to fight! You’ve always been better with a sword than me, it’s too bad that you’re staying behind Lissa, I could’ve used you at my side.”

“You’re an **arse** but I’ll miss you.” She sighed, ignoring the disapproving look that Oriana cast towards her for swearing with a child in the room.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m sure I’ll freeze in the southern rain and be completely jealous of you up here, warm and safe.”

“I am positively thrilled that you will be so miserable, husband” Oriana toyed with the end of her sleeve, clearly frustrated at the situation.

“Pray for me love and I’ll be back within a month or two.” Fergus tried to comfort her as best he could.

“You’re both gross…” Elissa shook her head and laughed, suddenly remembering that she hadn’t come all this way for an idle chit-chat. “Anyway, father told me to bring you a message, he wants you to leave ahead of him”

“Then the Arl’s men are delayed.” He pinched between his brows and sighed. “You’d think his men were all walking backwards... Well, I better get underway, so many darkspawn to behead, so little time.”

“I would hope dear boy that you planned to wait for us before taking your leave?” Their Father’s voice called out from the doorway, the siblings turned to see their parents enter the room together. Eleanor walked straight across the room and pulled Fergus into a tight embrace.

“Be well my son, I will pray for your safety everyday you are gone…” she squeezed him tighter, he let out a groan of discomfort but returned the hug.

“Fergus will be fine Mother.” Elissa reassured.

“I keep telling you,” Fergus pulled away from his Mother, holding her shoulders with both of his hands. “No darkspawn will ever best me.”

“Oh Fergus!” Eleanor wiped a tear from her eye and fanned herself with her hand.

“I’ll miss you Mother dear…” He chuckled and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Lissa, You’ll take care of her and my family won’t you?”

“Of course, you can count on me,” Elissa rocked back and forth on her toes. “Good old reliable me.”

“Pup, you’ll want to get an early night. They’ll be much to do tomorrow.” Bryce interrupted, she couldn’t tell if he was still annoyed about earlier or not.

“Are you sure that you’ll be alright?” She asked, not wanting to leave things on such an awkward note.

“Your brother and I head into battle not afternoon tea. Who knows what will happen to us?” Despite his best efforts to mask it, there was worry in his voice. “I will tell you however, you are my cherished daughter,” He stepped towards her and took her hand in his. “I love you, and I trust you completely to carry on the Cousland name if the worst should happen.”

“Maker… No pressure then…” Elissa laughed nervously.

“Don’t worry pup, I believe in your ability to handle any situation that comes your way.” He stopped for a moment before looking her straight in the eye. “I know you’ll do me proud... You’re a Cousland afterall.”

“Father…” Elissa didn’t know what to say, she was happy… relieved almost... that he had told her this before he left, but she could see how it pained Fergus to hear it. She felt guilty, and wrong… He had so much faith in her that she didn’t have in herself.

“Now go get some rest!,” He laughed affectionately as he pulled away, pointing towards her room across the corridor.

Elissa reluctantly obliged. She said goodbye to Fergus, bid the rest of the Cousland family goodnight, and headed towards her room. Ser Gilmore stopped by to return Barkley from his bath at the kennels, but the long day had made her weary and left her in an unsettled mood. She curled up in the bed next to her Mabari and went to sleep, trying not to think about the events of the day, trying not to think of the uncertainty of Father and Fergus’s return, trying to not think the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first 2 chapters will be primarily focused on Elissa because I want to establish her character before throwing her and Alistair together, but don't worry! He will be introduced soon enough!
> 
> Please leave a comment or Kudos if you enjoyed it, or even follow my tumblr: hylianblues for updates and more. Seeing feedback or engagement is really nice and encourages me to keep creating more content to share!
> 
> Thank you so much for giving this a chance and reading, I hope that you enjoyed it enough to stick around for the rest :)


	2. Here The Mighty House Cousland Fell: Part Two

Surely it couldn’t be morning yet? Elissa yawned to herself as she lulled between states of slumber and alertness, slowly she turned, rubbing her eyes and blinking as they adjusted. There was little to illuminate her chambers beside the moonlight that spilled through the windows, and the chill of twilight had crept further into the castle than usual.  She stretched out her arms to alleviate the tension building in her shoulders from lying on her back for too long, but found the other half of the bed that was reserved exclusively for Barkley- to be unoccupied. She slowly sat up and glanced around the room to look for him, she missed his warmth and wanted to just snuggle up and go back to sleep until at least the dawn came. Barkley stood about a foot away from her, crouched. His short tail pointed down between his tense legs. His ears pinned flat. His muzzle wrinkled. Snarling at the door with his teeth exposed.

“Barkley?” She called out with a whisper. “What’s gotten into you?” The Mabari ignored her, instead lowering himself closer to the ground and continuing to growl.

That was when she realised... when she heard the handle on the door rattling. Elissa quickly leapt out of bed and approached the door, at first she thought to open it and confront the person that had inadvertently woken her up but as she reached out towards the lock she hesitated… It was unlike any of the staff or her family to just enter a room without knocking first, and Barkley wouldn’t be so on edge if he recognised the person on the other side of the door. She slowly edged towards the dresser on the other side of the room and grabbed one of the sharp Orlesian hair pins that her parents had bought her on her last birthday, she had nothing else to defend herself with in case of an intruder, she had never needed to bring a sword to bed with her, so she prayed that it was perhaps just a guest that had gotten lost on the way back to their quarters.

Suddenly there was a loud crashing sound from outside. A scream. A sob. A silence. Elissa swallowed as she tightened her grip on the hairpin, her heart raced as she wondered who had let out such a shrill and terrifying sound, as she then wondered why they had.

Barkley let out a threatening chuff as he stood his ground, the twisting of the handle ceased… the sound of a lockpick clicking against the metal lock began. Elissa moved quickly, pressing her body against the wall beside the door so the intruder wouldn’t see her as they entered the room. She snapped her fingers at Barkley, and he wordlessly understood what his master had planned. He moved to her side, crouched, but silent this time. And they waited.

The lock clicked open. The door cracked. A man entered, sword in hand.

“NOW!” Elissa shouted, causing the intruder to turn in shock, as Barkley lunged at his target, snarling as his teeth punctured flesh. Blood sprayed across the slate floor. Pain. He cried out and struggled under the weight of the dog, but it was no use. He was pinned.

Elissa tensed as she heard heavy footsteps approaching, the clink of armor. She readied herself. Another man burst into the room, raised his sword as if to strike Barkley, but he wasn’t fast enough. Elissa struck him from behind, yelling as she rammed the hairpin directly into his throat as hard as she could and pulled it out, a stream of scarlet followed her movement. It dripped from her hands as she drove it into his neck again.

Again.

Again.

Until he stopped moving.

She stopped and staggered backwards as Barkley finished off the first intruder. She had just killed a man. Her hands were warm and slippery with blood, it had begun to soak through the white linen bed shirt that she had been wearing, her heart was hammering, she felt sick. She dropped the hairpin and blinked in disbelief… This… This couldn’t be happening...

“My Lady, Help me! The castle is under attack.” She looked up as she heard one of the human servants in the corridor call out frantically, stumbling forwards as he clutched his chest, there was blood, he fell. She took a deep breath and collected herself, if the castle was under attack that meant that the staff and rest of her family were at risk too, but who would attack the Couslands? Her family were well loved and respected throughout Ferelden… this just didn’t make any sense. But that didn’t matter at the moment, Elissa knew one thing and one thing only, she had to get out.

She grabbed the bloodied sword that one of her would-be attackers had dropped on the ground during the struggle, and stepped out into the corridor. The Servant lay face down on the ground, motionless, she checked for a pulse. Nothing.

“I’m so sorry…” She almost choked on the lump in her throat as tears began to well in her eyes, this man was innocent. In the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Darling! I heard fighting outside and feared the worst! Are you alright?” Elissa looked up to see her Mother speeding towards her, her face marred with panic and fear.

“I’m… I’m fine…” She lied. “What about you?”

“I’m fine, they never got through the door thanks to you.” She clutched her daughter tightly, breathing in her scent as if to check it was real. “A scream woke me up! There were men in the hall so I barred the door.” She pulled away. “Did you see their shields? Those are Howe’s men!”

“What??” She looked back at the limp bodies in her room, Amaranthine bears stamped onto their equipment. “Why would they attack us?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.” Eleanor stammered haplessly.

“Howe betrayed Father?... He waited until we sent our men away.” Elissa mindlessly spoke her thoughts aloud, trying to make sense of what was happening.

“You don’t think his men were delayed on purpose?” Her disbelief soured quickly. “That bastard! I’ll cut his lying throat myself.”

Elissa was in shock. What could possibly be Howe’s reasoning behind this? He and Bryce had been lifelong friends and comrades in battle since the days of the Orlesian occupation and he had always been nothing but loyal, even after Fergus had married Oriana instead of Delilah, Howe had remained perfectly amicable towards them. Unless… he hadn’t? Unless he had been biding his time to exact some sort of twisted and misguided revenge plot against them for the slight, despite the fact that Delilah was still far too young to wed and he had plenty of time to find her a new match. If that were the case, could all of this have been prevented?

“Where is Father?” She asked to distract herself from her thoughts.

“He never came to bed…”  

“He must be somewhere! We have to find him.”

“We must fight our way to him, your Father needs us both.” Eleanor reached out towards the sword that Elissa held in her shaking hands, causing her daughter to pull away in hesitation. She couldn’t let her Mother do this, it was her responsibility. Although Eleanor was having none of it. “I am no Orlesian wallflower, give me a weapon and I’ll use it!” Elissa refused. However, she knew that leaving her defenseless was a bad idea, and decided upon handing her the wooden bow that the first man had dropped, her Mother had always been an excellent shot anyway.

“What about Oren and Orianna? Their rooms are across the hall from mine.” Elissa recalled the terrified scream that she had heard not long ago, a gnawing ache grew in the pit of her stomach, her mother’s face grew dark.

“Maker… no… he wouldn’t…”

With little time for Elissa to respond, Eleanor had already begun to make her way towards the door. It was shut, giving them both hope that they hadn’t tried to get in there yet… Eleanor knocked on the door. No response. She swallowed as she waited, perhaps the pair were just hiding in the room, or had fled, perhaps the silence was a good thing. Eleanor turned the handle and pushed. Unlocked. The door creaked open. She fell to her knees.

“NOOOOO!” She howled. Elissa quickly ran towards her, bending down to attend to her. “My little Oren… What manner of fiend slaughters innocents?!”

Elissa looked up to see what her mother was staring at. Blood splattered across the carpet, two lifeless figures backed up against the wall, hunched over, terror carved into their exsanguinated faces. 

“Maker…” Elissa’s legs carried her towards them, the closer she got the more horrific the scene became. Oren lay still, curled up in his Mother’s lap, his hands still clutching her nightdress tightly, his glassy blue eyes staring up at her unblinking. Oriana’s face was stained with tears, her hair stuck to her forehead by blood, her arms cut to ribbons with defensive wounds… she had died trying to protect him. 

“Howe is not even taking hostages. He means to kill us all!”

“He… He was just a boy…” Elissa dropped the sword at her feet, the blood the was already on the blade must have been theirs. “Orianna was…” She stammered, bile rising in her throat, her body became hot as a sudden wave of nausea swept over her. “Fergus… I promised him I would keep them safe… I-” She buckled, retching and coughing as she threw up. Barkley whined as he hid behind her legs, peaking out at the bodies before them

“Darling this…” Her Mother walked over to her, reaching out to hold her hair. “This is Howe’s doing not yours.”

“I…” Elissa gasped as she violently shook, a sudden chill replacing the hot shame that she felt only moments before. If only she had left her room when she had woken up, a minute earlier and she could’ve saved them.

“Poor Fergus… I.. I don’t want to see this..” She turned away as she wiped the tears from her eyes, the grizzly scene too much to bear. “I know that it’s hard… But we need to keep it together until we are safe Darling, do you understand?”

“Y-yes Mother…” She wiped her mouth, her throat burning, her sense of balance still skewed. But she knew that she didn’t have time to lie down and recuperate, they had to find her Father, they had to escape while they still could. Taking a deep breath, she stood up as straight as she could manage, she took a step towards the bed to pull the sheet off, draping it over the bodies to give them some privacy in death.

“I’m so sorry…” Her voice was barely a whisper now.

“Let’s go, your father must be by the front gates…” Eleanor put her hand on Elissa’s shoulder as if to pull her back to the real world, she took another second to take it all in and then nodded. Steeling herself for whatever may come next, she picked up the sword that had extinguished their lives, and then they turned and left the room, closing the door behind them.

______________

 

“Go man the gates! Keep those bastards out as long as you can!”

Ser Gilmore yelled as he tried to command the small number of men that had gathered in the main hall. Few of them remained now, all of his commanding officers had either departed with Fergus earlier that night or had been killed or wounded by Howe’s men. Cousland soldiers hurriedly made their way throughout the castle, looking for their Teyrn and his family, trying to beat back the intruders and protect who they could. But it wasn’t enough, they had not been prepared for such an event and Gilmore knew that it was only a matter of time before they broke through. All they could do now was wait.

He watched nervously as the men he now commanded struggled to stack the heavy oak benches against the doors, although it wouldn’t keep them out forever he knew that they would have a hard time trying to defend themselves from his force as they clambered over the obstacle, anything that would buy them more time was enough. When Lady Landra and her son passed through, he sent them off with some elven servants towards the kitchens, he prayed that they would make it to the servants passage even though they were unarmed. He was unsure of how many of Howe’s men had managed to get through, but he knew that they wouldn’t hesitate to slaughter everyone in the castle regardless of how much of a threat they posed, they clearly wanted no witnesses and had orders to kill on sight.

He wondered if Elissa was alright… He had briefly seen the Teyrn with Duncan shortly after the attack had began, but no other Couslands had been sighted since. He knew that she was capable; strong; and would defend her people to the death, but couldn’t help but fear for her and her family.

It was at that moment when the door at the head of the room swung open, Ser Gilmore turned quickly- sword at the ready to engage those wretched men, but he lowered it again as soon as he saw Lady Eleanor and Elissa burst into the hall with Barkley in tow. They were filthy, blood splattered all over their night clothes, sweat beading on their faces, exhausted from fighting off those that would see them dead.

“Your ladyship! You’re both alive!” He ran towards them to see to them, “I was certain that Howe’s men had gotten through.”

“They did.” Elissa’s face was dark, her eyes stinging and red from the tears.

“Oren and Orianna…. They killed them… I can’t believe…” Eleanor explained, Gilmore felt his heart sink. He should’ve sent more men to secure the rooms. He should’ve gone himself...

“Are you hurt Ser Gilmore?” Elissa asked.

“Don’t worry about me My Lady, Thank the Maker the two of you are unharmed.” He smiled half-heartedly, although the news was dire he was relieved to see them both alive. “When I realised what was happening all I could do is shut the gates, but it won’t keep Howe’s men out for long. You need to find another way out of the castle!”

“We need to find Father first, we aren’t leaving without him!” Her voice was shaky, he could feel the fear behind her words.

“When I last saw the Teyrn he’d been badly wounded…. I urged him not to go but he was determined to find you. He was headed towards the Kitchens.” He explained, sparking a small glimmer of hope in her deep blue eyes. He was still alive. He had to be.

“The servants exit in the larder! Bless you Ser Gilmore, Maker watch over you!” Eleanor released a sigh of relief as she turned to head back the way that they had come from.

“Maker watch over us all.” He went to bid them farewell.

“Come with us!” Elissa insisted, “If you stay here you’ll-”

“No My Lady, we will remain here to buy you time.” He refused, knowing that if he left his post there would be nothing between Howe’s men and his vassals.

“But-” She started to protest.

“No Buts,” He put his foot down. “If you die then you’ll just follow me around the fade making jokes for the rest of eternity and I can’t have that.... Now go. Find the Teyrn.” He laughed bitterly.

Elissa let out a small chuckle at his comment, but she knew what this truly meant. He wouldn’t make it out of Highever castle. She would never get to spar with him, or tease him with her awful jokes again…

“I…” she began, but found that the words that she wanted to say escaped her. “... Thank you for your service Ser Gilmore.” She extended her hand for him, without hesitation he received it gladly, gently squeezing her fist in reassurance.

“Thank you for letting me serve, My Lady.” He smiled, but was not able to hide the encompassing sorrow behind it. They would not meet again. He released her hand and bowed deeply, saying his final farewell to his dear friend.

Elissa smiled for a moment, but knew that she could not stay any longer than she had already. With much remorse she made her departure, heading out the door with her Mother to search for her Father, leaving those behind her to die. Ser Gilmore took in a deep breath as he braced himself for the inevitable, glad that he had gotten to see her smile one last time before the end of it all.

______________

 

Elissa let out an indignant grunt as she cut down yet another one of Howe’s men, her Mother following close behind, bow at the ready to pick off the ones that she didn’t engage with.  Although the soldiers were better prepared for the fight, she was a stronger swordsman than all of them put together, all those years of challenging her brother and Ser Gilmore to duels in the courtyard had trained her well, so they posed little challenge as she carved her way through them. She opened the Kitchen door and stepped over the man as he lay dying, slowly gurgling in his own blood, she didn’t care to make it quick now, for she was sure that they hadn’t afforded that luxury to Oren and Oriana.

“There… you both are… I was wondering when you would get here” Bryce spluttered as he tried to lift himself off the ground, collapsing not a moment later.

“Bryce!” Eleanor pushed past her daughter to rush to her husband's side. “Maker’s blood what’s happening?!”

“You’re bleeding!” Elissa pointed to the pooling blood that her Father now lay in, his hands clasped over his abdomen, applying as much pressure as he could to the stab wound he had received. Barkley licked at his face, attempting to clean the blood that had been smudged across his cheek.

“Howe’s men… found me first…” He coughed, wincing in pain. “Almost did me in right there.”

“How did you make it all the way here? You can barely move.” Elissa closed the door behind her and hurried to his side, placing her hands over his to help hold them in place.

“Duncan… He found me… brought me here”

“And left you lying in your own blood?!” Eleanor shrieked, “We must get you out of here!”

“He went to look for you… I asked…” He groaned as the women helped him transition to a sitting position, leaning against the wall. “I won’t survive the standing.”

“Then we will bloody well carry you out!” Elissa snapped as she moved one of her hands beneath his legs. “Mother get ready to lift him.”

“No pup… I…” He let go of his stomach to stop her, Elissa immediately moved her hands to replace his. She was not going to let him bleed out on the floor. She was not going to fail him too.

“Once Howe’s men break through the gate they will find us! We must go!” Eleanor pleaded.

“Someone must reach Fergus… tell him what has happened…”

“You can tell him yourself! Don’t give up, come on!” Her voice was breaking now as tears began to fall, she was exhausted, frustrated, she just wanted to leave with what little she had left.

“I wish I could…” Bryce gently placed his bloodied hand on her shoulder.

“Bryce no! The passage is right there, we can flee together and find you healing magic!” Eleanor sobbed as she clutched onto his stained doublet.

“The castle is surrounded.” He looked her dead in the eyes, his voice grave with the harsh reality of the situation. “I cannot make it.”

“I’m afraid the Teyrn is correct.” All heads turned as Duncan walked into the room, he sheathed his sword and shut the door again. “Howe’s men have not yet discovered this exit but they do surround the castle, getting past will be difficult.”

“You are Duncan? The Grey Warden?” Eleanor called out, not quite ready to trust this unfamiliar face.

“Yes your Ladyship, the Teyrn and I tried to reach you sooner.”

“My daughter helped me get here, Maker be praised.”

“I am not surprised.” Duncan stopped to glance at Elissa, almost as if he was analysing her in some way.

“Is there anything you can do about Howe?” Elissa asked.

“Not here, there are too many men. Flight is the only option we have now.”

“Whatever is to be done now must be done quickly!” Eleanor said.

“Duncan… you are under no obligation to me but I beg you, take my wife and child to safety.” Bryce dropped his arms to his side as he spoke, Elissa could feel him weakening.

“I will your lordship, but I fear I must ask something in return.” He stated, knowing that the Teyrn was hardly in a position to refuse.

“Anything!” Bryce winced desperately.

“What is happening here pales in comparison to the evil now loose upon the world, I came to your castle seeking a recruit…” He began, watching the Teyrn reluctantly for a moment. “The darkspawn threat demands that I leave with one.”

“I… I understand.” Bryce swallowed. Maker forgive him for what he was about to do.

“What are you talking about? We don’t have time for this!” Elissa turned to Duncan and snapped. “Help me move my father!”

“You fought your way through Howe’s men to get here.I think the Maker’s intention is clear. I will take the Teyrna and your daughter to Ostagar to tell Fergus and the King what has happened… Then your daughter will join the Grey Wardens”

Join the Grey Wardens…

“Fuck the Maker’s intentions! Father please…. We have to go.” Elissa pleaded with her Father once more, choosing to ignore Duncan’s ridiculous request.

“So long as justice comes to Howe…” His breath was laboured now. “I agree…”

“What?!” Elissa looked back at her Father, not believing what she was hearing.

“I offer you a place within the Grey Wardens. Fight with us.” Duncan said.

“My duty is to take vengeance on Howe!”

“We will inform the King and he will punish Howe. I am sorry but-”

“Howe thinks he will use the chaos… to advance himself…” Bryce interrupted before his daughter could, he knew that it wasn’t what she wanted, but at this point he would do anything to keep his family safe. “Make him wrong pup. See that justice is done!”

“Father…” She choked out.

“Our family… always does our duty first… The darkspawn must be defeated…” Blood filled his mouth as he coughed. “You must go. For your own sake… and Ferelden’s….”

“I can’t… I won’t leave you!” Elissa shook her head as she wept, her face scrunched up and red, the pressure in her brain felt like it was about to crush her.

“You leave me no choice but to invoke the right of conscription then.” Duncan sighed, he had hoped it would not have to come to this.

“FUCK YOU!” Barkley barked as she spat those words at him, trembling as her emotions began to overwhelm her, she had fought so hard to get here, lost so much along the way...

“Pup…. please…” Bryce wheezed.

“Bryce, are you sure?...” Eleanor was in shock.

“Our daughter will not die of Howe’s treachery. She will Live, and make her mark on the world.”

“Darling…” Eleanor sniffed and wiped the tears from her face, “Please go with Duncan. You have a better chance to escape without me.”

“Eleanor…”

“Hush, Bryce…” She whispered, gently stroking his grey hair away from his face. “I’ll kill every bastard that comes through that door to buy them time. But I won’t abandon you…”

“Mother! I won’t let you do this!” Elissa looked up. This wasn’t happening… This couldn’t be happening...

“My place is with your father… at his side… to death and beyond” She swallowed.

“I’m so sorry that it’s come to this my love…” He groaned, the pain visible on his worn face.

“We had a good life… and did all we could… it's up to our children now.”

“Duncan! Do something!” Elissa turned to the Warden and begged him.

“I have made my decision.” Her Mother spoke, there was an unusual coldness in her voice, she had resigned herself to her fate.

“Then go Pup… Warn your brother… And know that I love you both… “ Bryce relented.

“I can’t… I…” She stammered. “I was supposed to protect the castle… I…”

“I know you’ll do me proud, you’re a Cousland, remember?…” He let out a dry chuckle and slowly reached beside him, lifting up the family sword and placing it into his daughter’s quivering hands. “Take this… and tell Fergus… that I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” He suddenly broke into a sob as the loud crash of splintering wood and clashing sword echoed down the hallway.

“They’ve broken through the gates.” Duncan announced. “We must go now!”

“I… Love you… I…” Elissa gasped.

“We love you too…” She leaned over and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Goodbye Darling…”

“I…” She froze. This was it… This was really it.

“My Lady!” Duncan grabbed her shoulder, pulling Elissa to her feet.

Her parents cried as they reluctantly bid farewell to their beloved daughter and her hound for the last time…  Eleanor sealed the servant’s passageway behind them so that Howe’s men could not follow, then sat beside her husband and waited. The both silently prayed that they had made the right call, that she would be safe in Duncan’s hands, that she would find Fergus, that justice would be delivered… but at the end they were glad to be going to the Maker’s side together.

Elissa, Barkley and Duncan hurried through the darkness as best they could, the passageway was poorly lit without torches, tight for space, and the precarious steps that they flew down had become a death trap- often finding themselves stumbling, almost losing their footing and falling multiple times, but somehow managing to grab onto each other in time to steady themselves. As they saw light towards the end of the tunnel, they noticed two women lying motionless at the bottom of the stairs. Duncan checked their vital signs as they approached. Gone. They must have fallen down the stairs. Elissa stopped to look at their faces, Lady Landra and her Elven handmaiden Iona.

The sun had began to peak over the horizon as they headed down the path that lead away from the castle, the usual clear morning air had been replaced by an oppressive fog that cloaked the city, smoke rose in plumes from the castle, Elissa came to a standstill… Highever was lost.

“My Lady, we should get you away from here as quickly as possible.” Duncan reminded her.

She inhaled as she tried to find the resolve to go on, no matter how difficult it was to stomach, she knew that her father was right. Someone had to go and find her brother before Howe and his men did, and she was the only one left that was capable of doing it now.

“Very well…” She grit her teeth, “Lead the way.” If she had to pretend to go along with becoming a Grey Warden just to get to Ostagar… then so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a VERY dialogue heavy chapter o_o  
> I spent sooo long transcribing all the dialogue from the prologue scenes and then editing them, and found this chapter pretty challenging to produce because it's out of my comfort zone/usual style so I hope that I did a good job and that you enjoyed it!  
> The next chapter will be Elissa's arrival at Ostagar, and the introduction of Alistair! (finally)  
> I'm not sure when the next update will be, because I have 3 assignments to do and a Korean exam to study for so I will be busy, but will definitely set aside time to update.  
> Please leave a comment or Kudos if you enjoyed it, or even follow my tumblr: hylianblues for updates and more. Seeing feedback or engagement is really nice and encourages me to keep creating more content to share!
> 
> Thank you x


	3. Though We Are Few, Surrounded By Many

****The pale morning light filtered its way down through the leaves of mature oak trees and worn columns that towered overhead, sporadically falling against the cracked grey stone that the weeds and roots were eagerly reclaiming after centuries of neglect and disrepair. The temperature had dropped overnight, a caustic chill emanated down the Kingsroad. The air was eerily still, the calling birds, the chirping crickets, and the whispering winter breeze had ceased and now all that could be heard now were Barkley’s unsteady panting and clink of Duncan’s armor as they stepped down the path.

“The Tevinter Imperium built Ostagar long ago, to prevent the wilders from invading the Northern lowlands. It’s fitting we make our stand here, even if we face a different foe within that forest…”

_It’s been a fortnight._

_They’re gone._

_I left them behind._

“Still giving me the silent treatment hmm?” Duncan suddenly interrupted Elissa’s intrusive trail of thought. He had been talking at her for the better part of five minutes now, and while she was sure that whatever he had been saying was important, she hadn’t really heard a word of it.

“Hmm? No… I was just-” She stumbled over her words, knowing that any excuse would fall short.

“You’re thinking about what happened?” He questioned, briefly stopping in his tracks to face her.

Elissa paused as she felt a hard lump catch in her throat as the dull insidious ache of fear and shame poured over her once more, her chest tightened as she recalled that night- the cold clash of swords and sight of crimson blood that soaked into the stone, the dead faces looking up at her... The Maker had abandoned them, she thought to herself. Abandoned her.

“You don’t want to talk about it. That’s fine.” Duncan spoke again, deciding to change the subject after seeing the pained look in her eyes, “There are only a few Grey Wardens within Ferelden at the moment, but all of us are here. This Blight must be stopped here and now. If it spreads to the north, Ferelden will Fall.”

“Oh lovely. I’ll make sure to warn my dead bannermen!” She chose to deflect any hint of apprehension with her trademark sarcasm. Although she knew that the Blight was a grave matter, it was difficult to care about a threat not yet known when she had just lost everything worth protecting.

“My Lady-” Duncan began again.

“Don’t,” She grit her teeth. “Don’t say anything.”

“As you wish.” He relented, his long years in service to the Grey Wardens had taught him to understand exactly when to push an issue and exactly when to drop it, seeing little point in causing her any more distress when he needed her to be strong in the battles to come.

As they approached the fortress together, Elissa couldn’t help but feel regret for how hostile she had been towards Duncan these past two weeks. Perhaps it was her anger at being conscripted against her will, or resentment that he didn’t do more to save her parents. Yet in despite of that, although at times she acted as if she vehementantly hated him, she was quietly glad that he had continued to be firm but fair with her, taking her feelings into consideration as often as he could.  Every time that she lashed out in frustration he had disregarded her tone and continued on as normal, if she made a mistake he sought to teach her what went wrong, and when he caught her sobbing into her bedroll at night she would often wake in the morning with an extra blanket, the greying Warden Commander sacrificing his own comfort to give her some peace, laying under the cover of the stars instead.

Perhaps Elissa had been projecting onto him.

She felt guilty about leaving her family to die.

She felt guilty for blaming him for her mistake.

“Ho there Duncan!” a melodic voice called out from ahead.

A tall man clad in finely crafted golden armor walked proudly towards them, his gait heavy with an equal measure of both nobility and bravado. His pale blonde hair fell loose around his shoulders, light blue eyes bright with excitement, and a charming grin that stretched across his strikingly handsome face as he and his stately guards approached the group. Although it had been years since their last encounter, Elissa recognised him immediately as King Cailan, and bowed low just as her Father would have expected.

“King Cailan, I didn’t expect-” Duncan began as the King stopped before them, holding out his hand eagerly in greeting.

“A royal welcome?” Cailan approached, chuckling lightheartedly, “I was beginning to worry you’d miss all the fun!”

“Not if I could help it, Your Majesty.”

“Then I’ll have the mighty Duncan at my side in battle after all, Glorious!” He spoke with great admiration, “The other wardens told me that you found another promising recruit… I take it this is she?”

“Allow me to introduce you, Your Majesty.” Duncan offered.

“No need Duncan. You are Bryce’s youngest are you not? I haven’t seen you since my coronation!” He enthused.

“I…. I am your Majesty. I bring important news.” Elissa forced out, not wanting to look foolish despite how much it pained her to hear her Father’s name unexpectedly.

“Is it about your father? Your brother has been concerned that he hasn’t arrived yet.”

“He… He isn’t coming…” Her voice wavered, “My Father is dead…”

Her head hung low as she trembled, her words were heavy from the burden and grief that she had carried from Highever, and were met with an inexplicable silence. As she looked up, she wondered if she had spoken loud enough for them to hear her faint voice, but upon seeing the faces of the men that stood around her, the truth of the matter was clear.

He had heard.

They had all heard.

Bryce Cousland was dead.

“Dead?! What do you mean?” Cailan’s voice raised in disbelief.

“Howe murdered them. He murdered them all in cold blood-” She croaked out, eyes burning with a familiar sting as tears began to fall.

“Duncan do you know anything about this?” The King spoke, an air of panic reflected in his tone. “Teyrn Cousland and his wife are dead, your Majesty.” Duncan responded as Elissa stood furiously attempted to wipe her tears as she caught her breath, “Arl Howe has shown himself a traitor and overtaken Highever castle.

“I… can scarcely believe it. How could he think he could get away with such treachery?!”  

“Had we not escaped, he would’ve killed us too. And told you any story he wished.” Duncan continued.

“As soon as we are done here I will turn my armies north and bring Howe to justice… you have my word.” He swore.

“What kind of justice Your Majesty?” Elissa sniffed slightly, despite feeling utterly pathetic for crying in front of the King of Ferelden, she was determined to see justice delivered.

“He will hang.” He affirmed..  “I know that will not bring your family back, but Howe will not profit from this.”

“And my brother? I need to see him, I need to tell him what has happened Your Majesty.” Elissa earnestly asked.

“Fergus not in the camp at present. Unfortunately, he and his men are scouting in the wilds.” He replied.

“But he may be in danger Your Majesty!” She exclaimed desperately, “Howe could have sent men ahead to deal with him!”

“We are all in danger, my friend. Nothing can be done until your brother returns, and that will not be until the battle.” The King refused.

“Then I’ll go look for him myself! I-” She cried out.

“My Lady you cannot, there are matters of great importance that must be attended to before the battle and-” Duncan interjected, realising that she was beginning to let her emotions get the better of her once more.

“No! I need to-” Elissa snapped at him, her voice ragged with fear.

“I apologise. There is nothing that you can do, and there is nothing more that I can do.” Cailan interrupted, reaching out to place his hand on her shoulder. “... All I can suggest is that you vent your grief against the darkspawn for the time being.”

“And what would you know about my grief Your Majesty?” She coldly spat as she recoiled from his touch, unmoved by his empty gesture.

Elissa knew that her behaviour was untoward, she knew that it would bring her no favour with the King, but the hurt that she carried in her heart was far more immediate and overwhelming for her to care for simple pleasantries. This was her brother… the only family that she had left in this entire wretched world… and she was terrified that she could have come so close only to lose him too. Elissa would not let him down, she would not let her Father down.

“Your Majesty… I apologise-” Duncan spoke sincerely, compelled to step in and apologise for the thoughtless words of his recruit.

“Don’t worry Duncan.” Cailan waved his hand as if to brush the tension aside, deciding to give the young Cousland the benefit of the doubt just this once. “Have you any news before I go?”

“Your uncle sends his greetings and reminds you that Redcliffe forces could be here in less than a week”

“Ha! Eamon just wants in on the glory,” He proudly declared, “We’ve won three battles against these monsters and tomorrow should be no different.”

“Your Majesty… I’m not certain the blight can be ended quite as… quickly as you might wish.” Duncan responded with trepidation.

“I’m not even sure this is a true blight.” Cailan continued dejectedly, “There are plenty of Darkspawn on the field, but alas, we’ve seen no sign of an archdemon.”

“Disappointed, Your Majesty?” Duncan raised an eyebrow.

“I’d hoped for a war like in the tales!” He enthused. “A King riding with the fabled Grey Wardens against a tainted god, but I suppose this will have to do…” He sighed with resignation, “Anyways, you must both be eager to reach your tents and I must go before Loghain sends out a search party. Farewell Grey Wardens!”

The Warden Commander and his reluctant recruit bowed as the King and his guardsmen turned and walked back the way they had come across the bridge towards the camp in the ruins. Elissa sighed to herself, knowing that although her frustration towards Cailan’s refusal to help her reach Fergus was reasonable, her father would definitely turn in his grave if he could have seen her behaviour during their exchange. She began to wonder if he even had a grave… If Howe had buried them, burned them, or simply left them to rot under the blistering sun.

“What the King said is true, They’ve won several battles against the darkspawn here.” Duncan said.

“He didn’t seem to take it very seriously.” Elissa frowned as she wiped the last of the tears from her cheeks.

“True.” He confirmed, “Despite our victories so far, the darkspawn horde grows larger with each passing day. By now, they look to outnumber us.”

“And?” She asked.

“And I know there is an archdemon behind this. But I cannot ask the king to act solely on my feeling.”

“Why not? He seems to regard the Grey Wardens highly.” She raised an eyebrow in disapproval, concerned that the King was putting too much stock in myths and legends.

“Yet not enough to wait for the Grey Wardens of Orlais.” Duncan countered.

“Well considering our history with your order and the Orlesians I can’t say I blame him.” Elissa pointed out.

“ **Our** numbers in Ferelden are too few. We must do what we can and look to Teyrn Loghain to make up the difference,” Duncan motioned for her to begin walking again and they began to head down the bridge together. “To that end we should proceed with the joining ritual without delay.”

“You mentioned this on the way, but I still don’t understand what this ‘joining’ is exactly.”

“Every recruit must go through a secret ritual we call the joining in order to become a Grey Warden.” He explained.

“And what if I don’t want to?” She challenged.

“You were conscripted into the Wardens. You don’t exactly have a choice I’m afraid,” Duncan asserted, “The ritual is brief, but some preparation is required. We must begin soon.”

“But I need to find my brother!” She objected again.

“You heard what the King said. He is scouting in the Wilds and is beyond contact. Be patient, he will return.”

“Fine! I will wait for now,” She begrudgingly relented. “But will you at least tell me why this ritual is so secret?”

“The joining is dangerous. I cannot speak more of it except to say that you will learn all in good time. Until then, you must trust that what is done is necessary.” He evaded answering her question.

“Oh wonderful!” She replied sarcastically, “Let’s just get this over with then.”

Onwards, they continued across the bridge and headed towards the main camp as Duncan lightly chastised her for how she spoke in front of the King and provided a summary of what she could expect upon their arrival, instructing her to seek out one of the other Grey Wardens in the camp, and then bidding farewell, walking off to attend his own business with Barkley in tow.

Elissa made her way towards to war camp, that sat in the midst of the ancient ruin, glancing around to see the crumbling white stonework that somehow managed to stand resolute around them despite itself. Just like the Kingsroad, the wilds were anxious to reclaim it, with weeds and roots erupting from the ground beneath them causing her to trip and stumble in front of a group of grubby looking rank and file soldiers that snickered as she passed them.

She took note of the tense atmosphere that occupied the camp as the rugged men stood at their posts idly, gossiping about this and that as if they had nothing better to do. Praise for the Hero of River Dane, _“Without Loghain you can bet the King wouldn’t be winning against the Darkspawn”_ and rumours such as, _“He and the King have been arguing about the Queen.”_ seemed to fall from their lips without a care. She almost felt sorry for Cailan, who was the subject of most of the talk, his youth and inexperience frequently being compared to the patriotism and bravery of the loyal general that advised him, but she could sympathise with the soldiers concerns.

She had no idea what she had expected, but it definitely wasn’t… This.

“Are you alright?”

Elissa stopped and turned to where a woman’s voice had called out from, before her stood a slim elder female dressed in a long pale robe, This stranger had a warm smile upon her wrinkled face, her silver hair was pulled back into a short practical ponytail, and her worn hands clutched onto a tall wooden staff for support. She was a rather unexpected sight on the battlefield.

“Uhhh… I’m lost?” She reluctantly answered as if she was asking a question, feeling like a complete tit in front of this total stranger.

“Well where are you going?” The elderly woman smiled again.

“I’m looking for a Grey Warden. His name is…?” Elissa tried to recall the name that Duncan had given her before they went their separate ways.

“Alistair?” The woman asked.

“That’s the one!” She confirmed.

“Ahh I see,” The woman let out yet another small laugh, almost as if she was amused by Elissa’s awkwardness, “I saw him about five minutes ago. He was sent with a message to the mages so I directed him to speak to one of the senior enchanters. Just head north and they’ll be just past the Quartermaster.” She directed.

“Thank you!... uh?” Elissa had no idea who this woman was, but was grateful all the same.

“Wynne. My name is Wynne, I’m one of the mages summoned by the King.” She introduced herself warmly.

“A mage?” She repeated in surprise.

“Yes from the circle.” Wynne nodded, “And you are?”

“I’m-” She stopped, “Nobody important.” She was unsure of whether or not it was safe for her to be using her name so freely. After all, any one of Howe’s men could have been planted nearby.

“Greetings… You are Duncan’s newest recruit are you not?”

“Oh uhh yes.”

“Then you’re not nobody, he’s not a man easily impressed.” She stated firmly, “You should be proud.”

“Haha… Thank you.” Elissa awkwardly chuckled, not really sure how to accept the compliment.

“Well I wish you luck on the battlefield!” She smiled warmly.

“You too Wynne. It was nice to meet you,” Elissa waved as she turned to depart, “Thank you for the help.”

“Anytime young lady.” She bid farewell.

As Elissa promptly headed the way that Wynne had kindly directed her towards, walking up the ramp that led towards where the great hall must have been several ages ago, she spotted two men bickering in the centre of where the great hall once stood. The Older man dressed in circle robes seemed to be irritable as he huffed over whatever the young soldier had been saying, sneering as he glared at the Grey Warden equipment that he sported.

“What her Reverence _desires_ is of no concern to me!,” The grizzly mage snapped at the younger man, “I am busy helping the Grey Wardens - by the King’s orders I might add!”

“Should I have asked her to write a note?” The warden said sardonically as he folded his arms across his chest, clearly beginning to show his frustration.Elissa couldn’t help but snicker at the warden’s wry response as she approached, causing the bickering pair to look up in her direction.

“Tell her I will not be harassed in this manner!” The mage declared, waving his arms incredulously.

“Yes. I was harassing _you_ by delivering a message.” The warden replied even saltier than before, as if to put on a show just for Elissa’s arrival.

“Your glibness does you no credit.” He snapped back.

“Here I thought we were getting along so well! I was even going to name one of my children after you!,” incredibly levels of sarcasm oozing from every word that fell from his lips, “... the **grumpy** one.”

“Enough! I will speak to the woman if I must, Get out of my way fool!” The mage threw up his arms as he barged past Elissa.

“Oooo someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning I see!” she grimaced.

“You know, one good thing about the blight is how it brings people together.” The man chuckled as he took a step towards her.

“I know exactly what you mean!” She sighed.

Now that he was closer, she could see that the warden was quite young and handsome in comparison to all the other soldiers in the camp, yet there was also something strangely familiar about him. Perhaps it was his fresh-faced smile, eager light brown eyes, or his short and scruffy strawberry blonde tousled hair, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on exactly what it was that drew her to him.

“Wait… we haven’t met have we?” He squinted a little as he tried to figure her out, “I don’t suppose you happen to be another mage?”

“Would that make your day worse?” Elissa raised an eyebrow.

“Hardly. I just like to know my chances of being turned into a toad at any given moment.” He cheekily caught his tongue between his teeth as he grinned, making it clear that he meant no harm.

“Hmm… I’d say its 50/50 right now, possibly willing to reduce it to 30% if you tell me your deepest and darkest secrets.” she joked in response.

“That can be arranged!” He laughed.

“We could start with that argument, what did you do to get that mage’s knickers in a twist?” She asked.

“Oh well the Circle is here at the King’s request but the Chantry doesn’t like that one bit, They just love letting mages know how unwelcome they are,” He rolled his eyes, “Which puts me in an awkward position because I used to be a templar.”

“You’re a Templar?” She said with surprise.

“Was a Templar. I’m sure the Revered Mother meant it as an insult- sending me as her messenger - and the mage picked right up on that!”

“That sounds quite petty.” She commented.

“It does, doesn’t it?” He replied.

“Can’t wait to see the Chantry drive back the Darkspawn with good old passive aggressiveness.”

“If only Andraste had tried that against the Imperium!” He laughed.

“Maker help us all!” She cried out sarcastically.

“Anyways, I never would’ve agreed to do it, but Duncan says we’re all to _cooperate_ and _get along_ ,” He sighed as he made air quotes with his fingers, “Apparently they didn’t get the same speech. Anyways, you must be Duncan’s new recruit. Elissa from Highever?”

“Oh… uh yes.” She replied.

“I should’ve recognised you right away. I apologise.” He held out his hand to greet her.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” She took his hand and shook it firmly.

“Duncan sent word. He spoke quite highly of you, said that you were exactly what he had been looking for,” he grinned. “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Alistair, the new Grey Warden. Though I guess you knew that. As the Junior member of the order, I’ll be accompanying you when you prepare for the joining.”

“I don’t suppose you would be willing to tell me what exactly that is?” She asked.

“Honestly, it’s nothing. Try not to worry about it, it will… just distract you.” He avoided the question just as Duncan had.

“Oh I feel ever so reassured!”

“Don’t worry My Lady,” He teased as he put on a fancy voice and bowed, “You have me to protect you.”

“Oh ha...ha…” She rolled her eyes and pointed to the hilt of her Father’s sword that rested on her hip, “I can handle myself better than most.”

“I’m getting that impression.” He smirked in approval.

“You know what, I think that I’m going to enjoy travelling with you Alistair.” She chuckled slightly as she turned to walk back towards the camp.

“You do?,” He asked with surprise as he followed.  “Huh. That’s a switch.”

The pair chatted idly as they made their way back to Duncan, and although they barely knew each other they got along rather well. Elissa was surprised by Alistair, after spending the past fortnight with Duncan, she was under the impression that the Wardens were a miserable lot that had little time for levity and fun, and hadn’t expected him to be so jovial and easy to approach. He reminded her of home a little, of Fergus and her parents, and how they were all so light-hearted and free.

Until they weren’t anymore.

She couldn’t help but feel that familiar ache as they approached the large bonfire in the centre of the camp, for it seemed that no matter what, her mind would constantly meander back to it. The smallest and most inconsequential things would trigger her memories, bringing her back home momentarily and then ripping it all away once more. The happiness of those days that were once sweet now left nothing more than the taste of ash in her mouth, tainted by that night.

“DOG!” Alistair exclaimed as he noticed Barkley lying in front of the fire beside Duncan as some other soldiers. The Mabari’s ears pricked up at the sound, quickly turning his head to see them approaching, he got up and barked as he bolted towards them, eager to be reunited with her once more.

“Hey-hey-hey!! Calm down boy, I’m here.” She hopelessly attempted to calm him as he leapt up at her in excitement.

“You never told me you had a Mabari!” Alistair remarked.

“Yes he’s my bestest most loyal and trusty baby boy!” She cooed as she gently nudged him over to rub his belly.

“Can I pet him?”He asked.

“Of course,” She said, allowing Alistair to get in on the action. “You like dogs?”

“I was raised by a pack of wild ones.” He chuckled to himself, and Elissa couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.  

“If you two are quite finished,” Duncan called out, obviously seeking their attention. “I’ll assume you are ready to begin preparations.”

“As ready as we’ll ever be.” Elissa confirmed.

“Assuming, of course, that you’re quite finished fawning over Barkley and riling up the mages, Alistair?” Duncan asked in an accusatory tone.

“What can I say?” Alistair stopped patting the Mabari and stood to face his commander, “The revered mother ambushed me. The way she wields guilt they should stick her in the army.”

“She forced you to sass the mage, did she?” Duncan folded his arms in disapproval as he chastised him, “We cannot afford to antagonise anyone Alistair. We don’t need to give anyone more ammunition against us.”

“Ah- I apologise Duncan.”

“Anyway, perhaps it is time that we introduced you to our other recruits,” He gestured towards the two men that stood beside him. “This is Ser Jory, a knight from Redcliffe, and Daveth from Denerim.”

“How do you do?” The man named Jory smiled warmly as he held out his hand to shake.

“Charmed  M’lady.” Daveth spoke as if he was getting ready to chat her up, but Elissa was definitely not interested in buying whatever he was selling.

“This is Elissa, the new recruit that Duncan said he was bringing.” Alistair said.

“Thats me. The new girl.” Alistair smiled as she awkwardly replied.

“Now then, since you’re all here we can begin,” Duncan began to explain. “Your four will be heading into the korcari wilds to perform two tasks.”

Elissa quickly raised her head in attention as Duncan spoke. _The Wilds._ The place where her brother lay beyond her reach, and now she had the opportunity to throw caution to the wind and find him instead of anxiously anticipating a return that may never come.

“The Wilds! But isn’t it dangerous?” Daveth interrupted.

“It is a danger you must overcome,” Duncan continued. “The first task will be to obtain three vials of darkspawn blood. One for each recruit.”

“What do we need darkspawn blood for?” Elissa asked.

“For the joining itself. I’ll explain more once you’ve returned.”

“And the second task?” Ser Jory asked.

“There was once a Grey Warden archive in the wilds, abandoned long ago when we could no longer afford to maintain such remote outposts. It had recently come to our attention that some scrolled have been left behind, magically sealed to protect them,” Duncan explained. “Alistair, I want you to retrieve these scrolls if you can.”

“What kind of scrolls are they?” Alistair asked.

“Old treaties if you’re curious. Promises of support made to the Grey Wardens long ago. They were once considered only formalities, but with so many having forgotten their commitments to us, I suspect it may be a good idea to have something to remind them with.”

“So find the treaties and three vials of blood. Understood.” Elissa repeated.

As the group of eager recruits prepared to head into the Wilds, she clutched the hilt of her Father’s sword in keen anticipation as she readied herself for what was about to come. No matter the challenge, she would find Fergus and keep him safe, she would bring Howe to justice, she would avenge her family…. She would go home.

“Watch over your charges Alistair. Return quickly and safely.” Duncan instructed.

“We will.” He assured.

“Then may The Maker watch over your path,” Duncan smiled. “I will see you when you return.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. It's been a while huh...
> 
> The past two months or so have really been busy for me, I got all my work for Uni done but then I had to deal with some family stuff, so the spare time I did have was mainly reserved for taking breaks. But I got it done (eventually)! And now Alistair is introduced :) I really enjoyed writing his interactions with Elissa and am looking forward to developing their relationship more in the future. This definitely isn't the strongest chapter I've ever written, and my writers block has been v severe recently but I just toughed it out and decided to post it anyway.
> 
> I really hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please feel free to leave a comment or Kudos if you enjoyed it, or even follow my tumblr: hylianblues for updates and more. Seeing feedback or engagement is really nice and encourages me to keep creating more content to share!


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